i wish i could get close to someone without feeling driven to scare them away. i just want to be sure they know what they're getting into. true: i'm not as bad as all the judgement i lash myself with throughout the day. false: i can control my emotions and what i think i want. unknown: how far into the mother's shadow of chaos will i sink? and how many pieces will she tear me to when she sees what i've grown to be? this is not what a key is supposed to become. if things continue, i'll lose my birth right and become an open door for god knows what.
trying to force things...not being patient is what my real problem is. instant gratification shines a nice little gleam of reflection on my fangs. both are chipped from grinding my teeth in frustration, hungry for something i can't quite picture. but once someone gets close enough to smell their soul...close enough to taste. all sorts of paintings start strobing behind closed eyelids. i find the most appetizing to me and the transformation begins. the mutation builds in my throat, focuses on my vocal chords. i make sounds that promise a apocalypse of the Mundane Membrane. a trip through a song of the abstract and strange. trees. teeth. and tea. a morphing experience from sweet to symposium. then the death of another searching cycle. and finally a parting of ways.
i have to tame this wild nature inside me before i hurt someone else. these claws have left enough emotional scars for one in-carnation...
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